Following up on the previous post, I wanted to write a little something about reflection. I recently took a walk through a path that 2 years used to be my go-to trail. I started thinking about what I was doing there two years ago and what my future looked like then.
Previously I walked this trail to gain a sense of home. I had just moved across the country, I wasn’t sure of my surroundings or quite where anything was in the new city, I was feeling uncomfortable in my skin because of the stress-weight I had accumulated from the move. I originally started to walk this trail because it got me out of the house which had a huge mental benefit for me. I also used it as my daily exercise since I wasn’t sure if I had the funds to join the gym yet. This path also gave me the time to call my friends and family and catch up with out staying in my apartment, which also gave me a sense of home because taking walks with friends was a common past time previous to the move.
I remember walking this path thinking that I had just made a terrible mistake, feeling very unsure of myself and my future, feeling a little resentful towards my partner for “making” me leave my family behind. I also used this walk to plan my next steps. Two years ago I had a plan to redecorate my apartment, to hopefully find a forever home, to explore this new city and make it feel like home finally. Since that first walk I have made many strides in the right direction.
On this particular day I was feeling thankful. This path gave me so much, it allowed me the time I needed to reflect and truly believe everything is alright. I walked this trail with my new best friend, a puppy. She has made everything come full circle for me and has truly made our house feel like a home. Walking this path with her made me see how much we did accomplish in this 2 years. Owning a dog has always been a dream that I really wasn’t sure I would fulfill yet. But here I am.
The house hunt we went on last year left us a little heart broken, after finding 2 homes we loved and getting an accepted offer on one, we were turned away in the end and that put a strain on our lives. Our hearts were broken, but the difference was that they were broken together . We moved on and we worked together to figure out our next step. As a couple this made the biggest difference and helped solidify that this move was necessary. We need each other, plain and simple.
In two years we have cumulatively bought 2 new cars, started a bank account together, bought our first few pieces of real furniture, decorated and redecorated our space to make it work functionally and aesthetically for us. We have gone through promotions, lay offs, a few jobs, and bad work weeks. We have celebrated and come together in the pitfalls. We have learned how the housing market works, how to attack it together and what we are truly looking for in a forever home, a work space and a life together. We have had the big talks about marriage, children, timing and everything in between. We have added to our home with our puppy Milo ( how is the sweetest girl, and the perfect accomplice to our adventures). Throughout it all we have stayed strong together, we have gone on vacations, said yes to so many adventures and we have never stopped exploring this Island we call home.
I am so thankful for this move, for the experience I am having and for the man I get to call my partner in crime. We have come through for each other time and time again, and this path showed me that. I have not walked this trail in about 6 months, and I have not done it alone since that first few months of moving here. Retracing my steps and feeling at peace, feeling content, feeling happy was a wonderful experience. This is what its all about. It’s about the hurdles we face and how we reflect upon the triumph that follows.
This 60 minute loop not only gave me time to reflect and basically write this post in my head, but also gave me the clarity to understand that no matter the problem I have people that make it easier, and that even if it doesn’t seem possible, I will make it out on the other side.
After reading this, show yourself some grace, some gratitude and reflect on the last few years, the last few months. How far have you come? How much have you accomplished that you haven’t taken the time notice?