The Period Between is something I have yet to master. The journey between the beginning and the end. An example of long-term would be the journey we take from birth to death. Or an example of short term would be mixing the cookie batter and the oven timer going off. Lets face it no one likes the non gratifying pause in between, no one enjoys the “process” while reaching goals, its just less fun, plain and simple. We’re told all the time from your parents, your friends, your friends parents. BUT its harder than it sounds. This is where you can follow me through my awkward space in the middle of starting and ending. Where we can,hopefully together, enjoy building the bridge between the two green spaces. ( see what I did there, grass is always greener reference wow..) Its not about the once upon a time or the happily ever after, but its about the mess I’m making in between.
Hi, its me again,
Its only been about 4 months or something outrageous.
If there is anything you can learn about me through this blog, it’s that I am busy. SO busy that sometimes I leave early from work so I can nap and then I finish up my work day from home. I am not an advocate for a stressful work experience, but as many of you probably know, we find ourselves in these positions regularly and we just push through.
What I am an advocate for is healthy, mindful living. Recognizing you need a break, or adjusting your life to fit into a healthy routine. To accomplish this, even when being very busy at work, is simple. I take the time I need to accomplish the top priority. Unfortunately for me this past few months that has been work. During busy seasons, its all hands on deck and that means instead of going on grand adventures throughout the island, staying up all night on a Friday drinking wine and listening to music, I am prioritizing my sleep and relaxation. Keeping these things present in my mind may mean I am missing out on some fun things this time of year, but it is keeping me sane and keeping me healthy.
Work-Life balance is a real struggle for me and making a few easy decisions throughout my day helps me to keep it in check. Maybe I am keeping work at the fore-front of my mind, but it keeps the stress at bay throughout the week when I am well rested and ready to take on the tasks ahead.
This little post isn’t saying much, other than I am in fact still here. And also explaining that instead of writing I have been sleeping….
I know how selfish am I…
But if that is what the body and mind want and need, that’s what they are going to get!
Self-Care comes in so many forms and it is really important to me not to ignore what it is I truly need to thrive.
I am sleeping in when I can and I’m basically spending my days off in my pajamas but it will only be a short while until I am able to get up-n-at-em again.
Until next time.. which really who knows when that is going to be at this rate…
Take care of yourselves!
Following up on the previous post, I wanted to write a little something about reflection. I recently took a walk through a path that 2 years used to be my go-to trail. I started thinking about what I was doing there two years ago and what my future looked like then.
Previously I walked this trail to gain a sense of home. I had just moved across the country, I wasn’t sure of my surroundings or quite where anything was in the new city, I was feeling uncomfortable in my skin because of the stress-weight I had accumulated from the move. I originally started to walk this trail because it got me out of the house which had a huge mental benefit for me. I also used it as my daily exercise since I wasn’t sure if I had the funds to join the gym yet. This path also gave me the time to call my friends and family and catch up with out staying in my apartment, which also gave me a sense of home because taking walks with friends was a common past time previous to the move.
I remember walking this path thinking that I had just made a terrible mistake, feeling very unsure of myself and my future, feeling a little resentful towards my partner for “making” me leave my family behind. I also used this walk to plan my next steps. Two years ago I had a plan to redecorate my apartment, to hopefully find a forever home, to explore this new city and make it feel like home finally. Since that first walk I have made many strides in the right direction.
On this particular day I was feeling thankful. This path gave me so much, it allowed me the time I needed to reflect and truly believe everything is alright. I walked this trail with my new best friend, a puppy. She has made everything come full circle for me and has truly made our house feel like a home. Walking this path with her made me see how much we did accomplish in this 2 years. Owning a dog has always been a dream that I really wasn’t sure I would fulfill yet. But here I am.
The house hunt we went on last year left us a little heart broken, after finding 2 homes we loved and getting an accepted offer on one, we were turned away in the end and that put a strain on our lives. Our hearts were broken, but the difference was that they were broken together . We moved on and we worked together to figure out our next step. As a couple this made the biggest difference and helped solidify that this move was necessary. We need each other, plain and simple.
In two years we have cumulatively bought 2 new cars, started a bank account together, bought our first few pieces of real furniture, decorated and redecorated our space to make it work functionally and aesthetically for us. We have gone through promotions, lay offs, a few jobs, and bad work weeks. We have celebrated and come together in the pitfalls. We have learned how the housing market works, how to attack it together and what we are truly looking for in a forever home, a work space and a life together. We have had the big talks about marriage, children, timing and everything in between. We have added to our home with our puppy Milo ( how is the sweetest girl, and the perfect accomplice to our adventures). Throughout it all we have stayed strong together, we have gone on vacations, said yes to so many adventures and we have never stopped exploring this Island we call home.
I am so thankful for this move, for the experience I am having and for the man I get to call my partner in crime. We have come through for each other time and time again, and this path showed me that. I have not walked this trail in about 6 months, and I have not done it alone since that first few months of moving here. Retracing my steps and feeling at peace, feeling content, feeling happy was a wonderful experience. This is what its all about. It’s about the hurdles we face and how we reflect upon the triumph that follows.
This 60 minute loop not only gave me time to reflect and basically write this post in my head, but also gave me the clarity to understand that no matter the problem I have people that make it easier, and that even if it doesn’t seem possible, I will make it out on the other side.
After reading this, show yourself some grace, some gratitude and reflect on the last few years, the last few months. How far have you come? How much have you accomplished that you haven’t taken the time notice?
Its like a swear word in 2018, I hear time and time again how millennial’s don’t work hard, or that we somehow have less stress than the generation before. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course, but in my eyes we have different stress. We are no better or less than the generations before but I believe we have different types of stresses that are equal to those generation. We may not be worried about war, or medical bills, or even getting food on our tables. What we do have is environmental stress that generations previous didn’t experience. ( I know I know, we created it, but that doesn’t make it less of a problem)
A word that has popped up on this blog a time or two is “Silence” and how much I truly strive for it. Throughout school I learned about stress and the toll it takes on your body. From a nutrition/human development background, it is probably the biggest worry we need to have. How counter intuitive right! We should be worried about being too stressed. Stress has negative impacts on so many things in our lives, from mental function, headaches and health problems, strains on relationships, strains on personal wellness, the list can go on and on. Silence helps to eliminate the smaller stresses that we may not understand or even know we have.
I am a large advocate for listening to your body, this does not only apply to food and exercise but also stress. If you can become in tune with how your body responds to stress you will have a better idea on how to combat it. The way I combat my stress is through silence. I have learned that the biggest stress-factor for me is noise. Noise pollution sounds extremely ridiculous but its something that impacts me so greatly that I need a break almost ever week. The quiet hums of machinery, the murmers of people talking, the clicking of keyboards or the pings of cell phones in the distance all add up. I can tell my body is starting to negatively process these noises when I start feeling overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed its almost as if I can’t hear anything except these small annoying sounds. That is my cue for some silence.
Something worth trying, in my experience, is to put your headphones in, and take a walk in silence. Don’t play any music but if you have something in your ears it can cancel out the smaller sounds you may hear on your walk. I do this maybe once every month. This little trick has helped me so much when it comes to my job and relationships. When I feel myself getting a little annoyed or anxiety-ridden, I whip out the old headphones and take a quick stroll. It is my kind of meditation. I am not one to sit still, so this acts as a mental break for me without the stillness. I try to focus on things that I am seeing rather than thinking about the stress I am trying to outrun. On my silent walk I will notice the leaves have bloomed, or the shadows on the street or whatever I feel is nice to look at. If I ever feel that overwhelming thought loom and creep into my head, I just find another thing to focus on. After about 10 min I instantly feel better. The best feeling is taking the headphones out and noticing the silence you just had.
This all probably seems a little wonky, or “hippy-trippy” but I don’t feel that people talk about noise pollution enough, and we should. We as millennial are all trying to better ourselves, better our environment, clean up the planet and promote self love. That is amazing. What we aren’t focusing on is the noise that all of these things create. It could be the one thing we are being too quiet about ironically.
My boyfriend is constantly making fun of me for listening to music so quietly or not having any on in my car when I drive, well sometime I just need to hear the wind and that’s it. Its all about how I am feeling that day and what my body and mental health need to feel full and complete.
I challenge you all to try this out when you are feeling stressed and see if it makes a difference. Even if you aren’t affected necessarily by the same stress as I am, find your way around the stress you feel, and don’t ever ignore it, you will be better off facing it head on!
Okay we made it!
Last resolution breakdown/update/ whatever your following along here.
Becoming okay with the journey. This was the one resolution I really thought was going to be a challenge. As much as I wanted this to happen for me I never really believed it would. I am a creature of habit and for so long I have had this pattern of getting lost along the way to my next adventure. I am not sure if its the space I have created with you here, or maybe I am growing up. YA its probably the blog.. haha!
Breaking down these resolutions and seeing myself put effort into them has really changed my outlook. I fully believe that maybe I am okay with this journey. The past 4 months have possibly been the happiest months I have experienced in a while. Yes there were a few rough patches, a few days I felt worse for wear, but as a whole I feel light. I feel full of life, and as if the universe is taking care of me. The relationship I have with my partner has grown so strong in the past few months, and that is not to say I ever thought it was weak, I never knew it could be stronger until recently. Its almost as if me putting work into bettering myself has enhanced my outlook on our lives together. The more I accomplish personally the more I am able to give to our lives and our experiences as a team. It a whole new world! A full on revelation I would say!
I am still moving forward, striving for the next step, the next item on my list. The difference is that instead of being wrapped up in it, I am taking the time to experience it, let things happen and learn from them rather than instantly fix them or move on to the next thing. It seems to be working.
I think maybe writing on here, in my journal, texting my friends and my mom, all of this pen to paper type activity I have been doing is working wonders for my mental health and self esteem. Its been so long since I have taken the time to put words onto paper and get them out of my mind that maybe this is the real revelation. The more I write, the happier I become it seems.
This is great news for you, as I will be continuing this journey with you!
The only downfall to this being the last update, is finding something else to write about!
Wish me luck,
You will know all went well if I have a post for next week!
Keep smiling and always try to enjoy the journey.
If you haven’t already deduced this, I am one hundred and ten percent a scatter-brain. I have a job where knowing everything going on is important, and a large part of that is organizing it all at once. But any of the staff I work with will tell you I have to do things one step at a time, otherwise the though will be gone forever. If I have a thought, or something that needs done, I either write it down or do it right away. Which isn’t always the most effective way to go about things, but sometimes when its too hectic you just have to do something, anything.
Picture me: cell on my ear, running from room to room never quite remembering the original purpose of each visit, but starting a new idea each time I enter. It is only once I put the phone down check my list and do one thing at a time that the original thing gets accomplished.
Being focused and present in everyday life is something I struggle with. Hence why I am trying to correct it this year. It could be the addiction to my phone and social media, or it could be the line of work I chose that creates this need to do it all at once, but in all honesty, I got it from my mama.
Running a house hold, getting all the littles to their sporting events, getting my dad to hockey practices and games, planning tournaments and barbeques, all while still working, having a social life and planning vacations for the family, my mom really did it all. What she taught me through all that is that its possible. It is possible to do it all and if you have a plan and focus on it you can accomplish it. If memory serves me correctly, she had about 17 planners, 3 calendars and a list at all times ( I know that is a bit hyperbolic, but its all for effect). I have now adopted this behavior and it has really gotten me to where I am, so thanks Mom. Writing everything down for the day helps me focus on that list only, until it is completed. Once it is done I can create the next list that has to be done, so on and so on until its time for bed. So this is what is helping me with the focus part of my resolution. Planning each step and doing things one at a time throughout the day has made a big difference in the past few months.
Being present is also something I have learned from my mom over time. She never asked for the photo of herself on vacation, or checked her email or phone in front of us kids. Instead she took time to really connect with every person in the family and ensure that they had a photo or a memory to attach to the good feeling they were experiencing. She was present. She was always listening and interacting without distraction. This is what I am working towards. I want to carve out time to connect, focus on what is happening in each moment, and savor it maybe capture it for someone else. Just Be present.
Being present always sounded like a load of hooey growing up..
” of course I am present, I am here.. duh”
But being present doesn’t only mean body, it means mind and soul, and I am working towards this connection with my friends, my family and the interactions I am a part of. I may have a to-do list constantly running through my head but at the top of my list is to live a happy and fulfilling life. Spending time with my boyfriend and learning a skill he has to bond closer, spending the day shopping and listening to my friend vent about the struggles she faces, sleeping on the couch with dog just to feel close, calling your mom just to hear about the weather. All of these things do not require a to-do list or a photo-op they just require the want. I am working towards making that a priority in my life. Shutting down the phone, turning off the music, silence is key in my life. Maybe not real silence, but the drowning out of the to-do’s so I can focus on what I am actually doing each day. This is how I plan to be present.
This is a very round-about way of getting to the point, but all I am after is strong connections, focusing on priorities at hand, making sure I am present in my relationships and continuing to create memories rather than constructing them for Instagram. Being present doesn’t mean never taking photo’s it means capturing moments for others while they are not. It means deciding which photo is the right one to take from your holiday instead of spending the entire time behind a lens. Making the decision to just enjoy your time how ever you see fit and really enjoy it. That’s what I am working towards and so far its going well.
**Thanks Mom for always taking the picture and never being in them, you have taught me that you hold those moments of us laughing and singing in your memory and your heart, where I may only have the photo. The only reason I have that photo is because you were selfless enough to ensure I was able to have something to look back on. You were present, and you captured the moments rather than insisting to be a part of them. I appreciate the time you took to be present in my life and in our families life, the time you took to create meaningful conversation every chance you could. I still remember many car conversation and meaningful mom-daughter moments over fast food in between games. I strive to do the same for my kids one day. You were focused and present and I never witnessed you checking your screen. You are present and I appreciate that.
P.s. I know shes happy crying right now, so send her a hug, she deserves it. xo
Being Grateful for what you have is very tricky business. In an age of sharing, posting, constant media, marketing and just plain noise, its hard to remember what you have and how many people would be grateful for it. I am not only talking about possessions and material matter, but also the relationships, the friendships the communication between strangers etc, all of these emotional items deserve some gratitude.
I am always trying my best to reach the next level in life. Like its some kind of video game and each level has certain item we need to possess or specific relationships we need to be a part of to graduate to that next level. That just isn’t right.
Being grateful for each stage is how we create happiness in our lives. For example you could be sitting on your deck enjoying the sun with a cocktail in hand and having a brilliant conversation with your partner. You could either be grateful for that interaction, the time your sharing together, the connection you both have, or even just that it isn’t raining. Or you could forget about that moment, scroll through your Instagram feed and be upset that your friend just found out shes pregnant, some girl has the new coolest shoes and some other person has a cuter cocktail than yours. All of the jealousy takes away from the great life your already living.
I am not saying I don’t take part in the social media jealousy game, because I one hundred percent do, I catch myself taking photos of things just to post so I seem like I am in line with the rest of my friends. This is the saddest part of the world we are living in. There is no set rules, no set direction we need to take to live a fulfilling life. Each person has their own path, their own things to be grateful for. A lot of the time it just takes a little reminder and a little gratitude to turn your bad mood or green-eyed monster around.
I can say this with confidence because I recently started journaling, I know how “2018” of me. I used to keep a diary when I was maybe 12-18 and it was always something I loved doing. Keeping track of my day, getting the bad thoughts onto paper help me feel like they weren’t my problem any more. I picked the habit back up and what a difference it is making. I have been starting each day with what I am grateful for that day, what my intentions are to have a good day, and in the evening I am writing about what I am grateful for and how I can make the next day even better. Starting with a positive reminder of how great I think my life is, helps to drown out the social media game of “who’s better than who”. By reminding myself daily of my accomplishments, and having a positive outlook on why I think my life is the “best-thing-since-sliced-bread” allows me to find more joy in other peoples accomplishments. Once upon a time a friend would tell me that they were pregnant or they graduated from their Masters or they landed their dream job and I couldn’t find happiness for them. All I could muster is the deep jealousy I had and the intense guilt I had because their accomplishment made me feel less than enough. That is so wrong. These people are my friends and my family and I should be able to show them joy, show them how much I appreciate them, tell them how grateful I am for being with them through their journey.
Showing a gratitude is new way of thinking for me, I do believe it is changing my life for the better and shifting my mindset into a more positive one. All that self-love and what-not.
Let me know what your grateful for in the comments below ( click the title and scroll to the bottom), I would love to share in your excitement!